A letter to my younger self

Let me pose two questions to you: Right now if you were to write a letter to your 18 year old self, what would you say about life and what you have learned? What advice would you give yourself?

Dear Moloko,

You have just started out at Monash University South Africa and once again you are in a new environment feeling nervous and excited all at once. You have no idea what’s in store for you but you embrace it in the best way possible. But let me take you back to when you were younger growing up in Botswana. While growing up you sometimes felt that you were automatically put in a position where you had to be alone seeing as you grew up with two boys. You often played with your dolls and spoke to them as if they were mortal friends. Sometimes either mum or dad would join you during your Barbie doll tea parties but mostly you were alone and while it may have sometimes been an unpleasant feeling then, guess what, you are now your own best friend – you love your own company, you love eating alone at restaurants and your favourite pastime is going to catch a movie all on your own. You now realize that once you learn how to be your own best friend, then you are NEVER alone. You realize that in order the venture into unknown terrains and dive into greater adventures, you will have to face them alone, so now….now you do not mind being alone, infact you look forward those moments. For you also know that one who travels alone travels fastest.

You daydream more often than you would like to admit. You daydream about a beautiful world, travelling across oceans and experiencing new cultures. You daydream about adventure and often visualise your goals and dreams. You spend so much time daydreaming that your imaginary world actually feels real to you. Well guess what, it is real. You will get the chance to travel the world and meet amazing, encouragement and enlightening people. You will travel across borders quite often and realize a marvellous world still awaits you even though you’ve travelled to almost all continents. At 29 years old you will still have a burning desire to just travel, travel and do more travelling. You will constantly be curious about the world.

You are like any other girl who dreams of having a family one day – those are actually one of the things you daydream about. At 29 years old that will not have happened yet, but guess what, you’ll realize that you put too much emphasis on things that you cannot control. In matters such as these, just let go and let God – God’s timing is always perfect. You will learn to love yourself, appreciate those who love you and encourage those who need to be encouraged. In your journey for continuous improvement you will realise that love can be many things, but one thing that it is not is what some humans have deemed it to be – a shallow, conditional feeling which when given ought to be received. Take careful note when I say to you “love frees you, it is liberating, it is not selfish and it is certainly not flaky.”

People will come into your life for different reasons. Some will last a lifetime and others will wither away like the last leaf drop before winter. Let them be who they are meant to be in your life and let them do what they are meant to do. Hold on to the lifetime friends and don’t chase after the ones that break out of your life. However, treat all humans with the same respect as you would show yourself.

Listen to your parents. Your parents have been where you are and even at 29 years old, they have been where you will be right now (if that makes sense). Spend as much time as possible with your mother for she is exemplary in defining the kind of woman you would want to be both personally and professionally. Spend as much time is possible with your father for he was exemplary in portraying how a man should treat a woman, the things that matter most in your significant partner (things that money will never be able to buy), and he also defined the true meaning of a man of quality. His approval will also help you in defining the kind of man whom you will adore, not worship…but adore and support.

Read this letter and ponder upon it but not too hard because you still have a life to live. You will be okay. More than okay.

Love you most,

Moloko at 29