The Eternal Optimist

I wondered when I would be able to write this article because I want it to be absolutely flawless and to express my genuine feelings about this person who was once in my life, but after this past weekend, the precise words just seem to effortlessly appear on paper.

Recently we had a thanksgiving service for a life well lived, my father, and it served every bit the purpose which it was intended to serve. It was a light-hearted, intimate ceremony which left us reminiscing about the great man that was Professor Thomas Tlou. The pastor, the church choir, family and friends, we all gave thanks to God for having had the privilege to meet such a man in our lifetime. And while all the speakers summed it up perfectly, it is my turn to give my personal thanks in my own words and here I say this:

- I give thanks to God for having had such an awesome, generous, loving, caring and great father,

- I thank God that I was given 25 years with him, and while some may say 25 years is a short time comparatively, I say that my father’s love is still extremely alive and vibrant in my memories, thoughts and daily life that it will be engraved in my mind and soul for a million and one more years to come, even beyond my lifetime,

- I thank you God for a selfless father who would strive to be the best father, husband, friend and man that he could be on a daily basis,

- I thank you oh dear God for the hardworking, beloved father who once walked the earth, for he helped build a nation, he helped build education in Botswana and played a significant role in the strengthening of educational institutions and services in Southern Africa,

- I thank you God for giving me a father who, although was extremely successful, still remained incredibly humble, teaching me the true value and worth of a man’s heart and soul,

- I thank God for having had a father who, even when all odds were against him and obstacles stood firm in his path, still remained eternally optimistic,

- And finally I thank you God for allowing me to learn from this man, to learn from one of your angels. Some called him a friend, my mother called him a husband, my brethren called him a father, relatives called him an uncle, cousin and son, and a certain student once honoured him as the "teacher of his teachers". But to me.....to me, dear God, this man was much more than that.....which is why I call him The Eternal Optimist.

Walk a mile in her shoes ~ SlutWalk

It [SlutWalk] is a global movement, with protest marches taking place from Washington, DC all the way to New Delhi, and while its official name does raise eyebrows, it is an extremely serious and relevant movement. Earlier this year, after a Toronto police officer suggested that to remain safe, "women should avoid dressing like sluts”, the SlutWalk rallies began with participants protesting against excusing rape by referring to any aspect of a woman's appearance. After reading some of the experiences and stories that women shared about their rape ordeal, it bothered me that a great percentage of them, in their traumatized state, were victimized and blamed by the very people who were supposed to make them feel more at ease, considering the circumstances. Many women are infact afraid of going to a hospital / clinic and getting examined by a doctor and/ or reporting their rape at a police station out of fear of being victimized; there have been cases where doctors and police officers have blatantly blamed rape victims for having aggravated their perpetrators because they were either dressed "provocatively" or supposedly had loose morals.  In some cases, the very doctors who examined these women also ended up raping them. 

The movement has now reached South Africa, with marches taking place during the months of August and September. For those people who live in Cape Town and want to get involved, please visit  SlutWalk Cape Town. If you are in the immediate Johannesburg area the event is now on Saturday, 24^th Sept 2011 (instead of the initial date of the 20^th Aug) around the Zoo Lake area. For more info please visit SlutWalk Jo'burg.

To learn more about SlutWalk, please visit SlutWalk international.  

Celebrating Women's Day

Wishing a Happy Women's Day to all the beautiful, elegant, foxy, fierce, amazing women out there. On this day we celebrate the wonder that is a woman, the strength of a woman, the zest of a woman. But ladies, let us not allow our celebration to only be limited to a day; celebrate being a woman every day of your life, celebrate the fact that each day when you wake up the world smiles at you for having the courage to get out of bed and strive to achieve your goals, celebrate the fact that with every step you take you bring unbelievable joy to someone, celebrate the fact that your smile lights up a room, a building, a region; celebrate the fact that without you, a nation would be no more. Happy Women's Day to you.

5 – 4 – 3 – 2 Yo! Time is up

They say good things come to those who wait. But after much deliberation, I firmly believe that this phrase should be modified to read “good things come to those who wait, granted they know exactly what it is they are waiting for and granted that whatever it is they are waiting for is worth it”. I say this with much enthusiasm and conviction because in recent years, it has come to my attention that many women partake in the waiting game – mainly waiting for a man to commit – when it is evidently not worth it in some cases. “Worth it” is extremely relative, but while some women ever-so-patiently allow their lovers to slowly but surely cross the finish line into the world of holy matrimony; while they wait for a man to finally make that ultimate decision, many of them could possibly be missing out on something special out there. As harsh as it may sound, it is only the truth; in waiting for something which may never happen, we inevitably forego other possibilities, other opportunities, other potentials.The fact still remains that if a man truly wants to commit to you, by any means possible he WILL make it happen. No games, no lingering uncertainty - he will undoubtedly make it happen.

I’ve often witnessed women put their careers, goals and life plans on hold for a man; often counting down the minutes, hours, months and years while waiting for their significant other to make that crucial decision of whether he wants to commit or not. Infact in some cases, all it takes to get us into a tailspin is for him to whisper, or even utter in passing, the words “I want to make you my wife; I want you to be the mother of my children”.

It is true and without a doubt that in any relationship only the two parties involved can truly know what is happening between them, and only they can evaluate whether their lover is worth the wait; but if for any reason you find yourself in a situation where you repeatedly say or even think “he has learnt his lesson and he will change”, “he is definitely getting better and I believe him when he says he won’t lie and cheat on me again” , “I think once we get married things will get better”, then I beg of you, please sit down and think just how far you are willing to allow another person to disrespect you and disregard your feelings. It is always better to let go of a helpless situation with your last bit of dignity intact than to carry on in it with the hopes that there will eventually be light at the end of the tunnel – that very light could just be an oncoming train.